Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Kape 002. Of Dreams and Loved Ones

I never imagined how things would go among us High School friends after this challenging year, 2012. Right now, my mind is just about to burst with so much ideas waiting to be finally written down, just in time for my year-end blog post. Cos 2012 is actually my year of very, very tough choices and decisions.

But anyway, going back to the topic of High School friends. Yea, we kinda drifted apart during the middle of this year. Long story but I don't want to go back to those dark days. Thought it's going to be finally over. But I'm just thankful that we're slowly getting back to where we left off. I texted Aileen and asked her if she'll be free anytime this week to have coffee and talk. Gladly, she obliged to meet me that same night. So, here goes my 2nd sticker.

What: 1 venti Dark Mocha Frappuccino (for me)
1 venti Mocha Frappuccino (for Aileen)
When: November 13, 2012 (Monday)
Where: Starbucks Timog-Imperial Suites
With whom: Jarl and Aileen 

Just when I've started to take baby steps in carving out my own future, God sends another test of faith. This time, it's my ultimate dream. Something which I've always set my eyes on since 7 years ago. But it's a dream of going to a distant land alone.

I've said to myself, this is it. I just have to grab it while it's there. But something in my heart tells me to just let it pass and let it go. I ask God, "Why now? It could've come at a more opportune time when I needed it." But it came at a time when I've already invested a lot in terms of time, energy and resources to build something, and at a time when the cost of chasing after my dream means having to choose between that and my loved ones.

I'd like to believe that my 2nd cup of coffee is an answered prayer. My friend summed up perfectly with the words, "Wouldn't it be happier if you live out your dreams together with the people you love the most? Fulfilling your dreams would have more meaning if you walk through the journey of getting there together." I take it from my best friend who experienced her father's passing away this year. I know the feeling of being the one left behind. I'm a daughter of an absentee father since I was born. And I also know the feeling of regret over lost time. So that statement shouldn't come as new.

More than my dilemma, we spent the time also to catch up on what has happened during the past months. She made use of the remaining hours left to study and go over her Med book while I read through the last few pages left of Paulo Coelho's Aleph.

Aileen's one of the few friends I rarely get to spend time with because of her busy schedule in Med. But every single time that we have the chance to meet and talk is something that's well-spent.


I remember a friend of mine who recounted his experience of leaving his dream in the Academy in exchange for love. Thought it was too illogical and absurd at the time he was sharing it to me. Now, I understand where he's coming from. 

Of dreams and loved ones.... 
time would come when you'd both merge into one but 
a certain time would come first in your life when you'd have to choose one. 

2012, you're really a year of choices.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Kape 001: Mother-Daughter Bonding


Ho ho ho! It's that time of the year again when people flock to any Starbucks branch sprawled all over the country because the race is on for the upcoming year's planner. That is my assumption, of course, but I'm not sure if customers do really double in number during the holiday season because of this promo. Being the OC I am and planners as an integral part of my daily life since high school, I go and google how the 2013 Starbucks Planner look like on the outside and most importantly, on the inside.


While searching, I came across this article which left me with an unbelievable "WOW" reaction afterwards. Read about the first woman to claim the planner after less than a day. She drank 17 cups of coffee in one day just to claim that title which I'm not sure I'd be proud of. Talk about being competitive and super duper caffeine overdose. 
Then an idea popped! Since I've been collecting Starbucks planners since 2005 and would often regret afterwards the amount it cost me, why not put some meaning into each cup I'd be drinking as I make my way towards completing my sticker cards? 

The front message of the sticker card says, "Rekindle the Joy". Hence, I'll rekindle the joy while I collect these 17 memorable stickers.   


So here goes my first 2 stickers: a coffee date with Mom on  a Sunday night :)

What: 1 grande toffee nut (hot), 1 tall caffe latte (hot)
When: November 11, 2012 (Sunday)
Where: Starbucks Panay Avenue
With whom: Mommy


I initially planned this to be a me-time activity (Sundays are me-time days), but when I casually asked Mom after she came home from a day at work (yes, she's out doing fieldwork on a Sunday) if she wanted to join me for coffee, she agreed right away. So off we went to the nearest Starbucks from the house.
This wasn't my first time to have coffee with Mommy, but tonight confirmed to me once again that I actually got my being a neat freak from my dearest Mom. She emptied out all the contents of her bag onto the table and carefully sorted through the receipts and papers. She arranged her stuff back into her bag neat and orderly. She then proceeded to make her to-do list for the next day. Everything she did was just soo, soo me. What an enjoyable sight to behold watching my Mom do all of those things. 

She brought some new flyers of Bittersweet in her bag. I was surprised that my Mom had so much courage to approach selected girl customers inside the store to give out flyers. How sweet and supportive of Mommy! I was at first hesitant of Mom giving away flyers inside the store since I myself don't like receiving it if I were the customer. But I could see how Mom was happy doing it for me, and how the customers reacted positively towards Mom. She was even giggling when she heard some girls discussing about waxing because of the flyers. At that very moment, I admired and loved my Mom even more for such selfless act. 

I'm almost done with the book I was reading but then I often caught Mom shutting her eyes because of lack of sleep for the past 2 days. So we just stayed there for an hour and a half, and then we went back home.

My take-home joyful moment: 
the overwhelming love and support of a mother

"Mama" by Spice Girls

Photo & Video Credits:
http://moneylifeblood.blogspot.com/2012/11/starbucks-planner-2013-cost-of-getting.html
http://www.blueberry010.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsNbhwSXDB8

Aleph by Paulo Coelho

Concepts to remember:
          • the Chinese bamboo
          • Hilal
          • the Trans-Siberian railway
          • the Aleph
          • the Path of Peace
          • the Ring of Fire
          • Korkmaz git
          • Solve et coagula
          • of children and grown-ups
          • learning the beauty of simple things in Japan 
          • the shaman and the Baikal River

1. A certain nobleman went into a far country, to receive for himself a kingdom, and to return. - Luke 19:12

2. It's doubt that drives a man onward.

3. Time doesn't teach; it merely brings us a sense of weariness and of growing older.

4. You can change your future by bringing the past into the present.

5. It's what you do in the present that will redeem the past and thereby change the future.

6. You've got to leave in order to return to the present.

7. The great lessons I learned had been precisely those that my journeys had taught me.

8. Travel is never a matter of money but of courage.

9. Life is the train, not the station.

10. Understand what is going on inside you and you will understand what is going on inside everyone else.

11. When a sense of dissatisfaction persists, that means it was placed there by God for one reason only: you need to change everything and move forward.

12. We always try to interpret things in accordance with what we want and not as they are.

13. That is what marks out the warrior: the knowledge that willpower and courage are not the same thing. Courage can attract fear and adulation, but willpower requires patience and commitment.

14. I was beginning to believe that nothing I had learned had put down any roots.

15. If I believe I will win, then victory will believe in me.

16. No life is complete without a touch of madness.

17. A life without cause is a life without effect.

18. Words are tears that have been written down. Tears are words that need to be shed.

19. No one is a prophet in his own land. We always tend to value what comes from afar, never recognizing the beauty around us.

20. Leave your comfortable life and go in search of your kingdom.

21. Those who set off in search of their kingdom know that they are going to find, instead, only challenges, long periods of waiting, unexpected changes, or, even worse, nothing.

22. What hurts us is what heals us.

23. To live is to experience things, not sit around pondering the meaning of life.

24. I am a born pilgrim.

25. I will never reach my goal by staying in the same place all the time.

26. Don't think about what you'll tell people afterward. The time is here and now. Make the most of it.

27. All we achieve by exacting revenge is to make ourselves the equals of our enemies, whereas by forgiving we show wisdom and intelligence.

28. If you spend too much time trying to find out what is good or bad about someone else, you'll forget your own soul and end up exhausted and defeated by the energy you have wasted in judging others.

29. I am in the Aleph, the point at which everything is in the same place at the same time.

30. Expend your energies and you will remain young.

31. Don't be intimidated by other people's opinions. Only mediocrity is sure of itself, so take risks and do what you really want to do. Seek out people who aren't afraid of making mistakes and who, therefore, do make mistakes. Because of that, their work often isn't recognized, but they are precisely the kind of people who change the world and, after many mistakes, do something that will transform their own community completely.

32. Suddenly, though, something seems to have happened, and she can't make any more progress.

33. The small Aleph always appears by chance... you know that you are understanding something that you can't even explain to yourself.

34. Most of them occur because of things that have remained unresolved, and we need a new incarnation in order to finish something that was left incomplete.

35. Dreamers can never be tamed.

36. Love is the only thing that will save us, independent of any mistakes we may make. Love is always stronger.

37. Anyone who knows God cannot describe Him. Anyone who can describe God does not know Him.

38. We are always in touch with the Divine Energy; it's only routine that prevents us from feeling it.

39. We learn in the past, but we are not the result of that.

40. We are not the person other people wish we were. We are who we decide to be.

41. Love always triumphs over what we call death. That's why there's no need to grieve for our loved ones, because they continue to be loved and remain by our side.

42. She was never mine and never will be; that is how it is.

43. Being alone may make me more vulnerable, but it makes me more open, too.

44. I have hundreds of wounds that I carry around with me, and yet I'm obliged to behave as if I were the happiest person in the world.

45. Our hearts, which are regulated by time but which never stop forever.

46. Train your heart. That is the discipline every warrior needs. If you can control your heart, then you will defeat your opponent.

47. If you conquer yourself, then you will conquer the world.

48. I am fighting with myself, and I need to win this fight at all costs, even if that involves falling and getting up over and over.

49. Controlling your aggression in order not to harm the other is the Path of Peace.

50. First develop a strategy that utilizes everything around you. The best way to prepare for a challenge is to cultivate the ability to call on an infinite variety of responses.

51. Sometimes fear is necessary in order for the soul to find its path again.

52. We can become imprisoned by our memories, and that makes our lives wretched even when we have everything we need in order to be happy.

53. Korkmaz git: "He goes and is not afraid." (Turkish)

54. To invoke the Aleph, something very powerful has to happen: a huge orgasm, a terrible loss, the climax of a great conflict, a moment of ecstasy when confronted by something of rare beauty.

55. The world is divided into those who understand me and those who don't. In the case of the latter, I simply leave them to torment themselves trying to gain my sympathy.

56. As we travel on, we are constantly destroying and rebuilding ourselves and who we are.

57. Words kill, and only through direct experience will you understand everything.

58. Conflict was essential to revolution.

59. May these marks remain forever on my body, so that I may never forget who I was today.

60. The trouble with words is that they give us the illusory sense that we are making ourselves understood as well as understanding what others are saying. However, when we turn around and come face-to-face with our destiny, we discover that words are not enough.

61. A warrior in search of his dream must take his inspiration from what he actually does and not from what he imagines himself doing.

62. When I noticed that my life was no longer flowing like a river down to the sea, I decided to go off traveling.

63. We should always be prepared for attacks by the enemy and be capable of looking into the eyes of death so that death may light our path.

64. Not everything in life is a long train with tickets available to all.

65. Spiritual growth doesn't always arrive hand in hand with wisdom.

66. The most sophisticated things in the world are precisely those within the reach of everyone.

67. Love is made up of choices.

68. I will never be yours, and you will never be mine.

69. Yes, pure selfishness. People like him would like time to stop or go backward, and by doing so, they prevent the souls of their loved ones from moving on.

70. I cannot cure despair when people find comfort in it.

71. Be blessed. And just as you are transforming your own life, may you transform the lives of those around you.

72. Is it possible to deviate from the path God has made? Yes, but it's always a mistake.
Is it possible to avoid pain? Yes, but you'll never learn anything.
Is it possible to know something without ever having experienced it? Yes, but it will never truly be a part of you.

73. No, nothing has changed. But we - who went off in search of our kingdom and discovered lands we had never seen before - know we are different.

74. Sometimes, you have to travel a long way to find what is near.

75. The magical and the extraordinary are with me and with everyone in the Universe all the time, but sometimes we forget and need to be reminded.

76. We return laden with treasures that might end up getting buried again, and then we will have to set off once more in search of them.

77. That's what makes life interesting - believing in treasures and in miracles.

78. Let God use your hands. You will be happy, even if right now you feel only despair.

79. You're part of me, the most important part, and it's being left behind. I will never be the person I was.

80. You're a prisoner of your past, and so am I.

81. Celebrate the fact that you were brave enough to risk your career and set off in search of adventure, and find  it, too.

82. Only two things can reveal life's great secrets: suffering and love.

83. Life decided to separate us.

84. Any return to the past with no knowledge of the process can have dramatic and disastrous consequences.

Photo Credits:
http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2011/09/30/seven-questions-about-aleph/

KKK Diaries: Kape

Hello there! Got myself a new blog again (for the nth time). But this time, I'd like to cover as much thoughts, stories and reflections as I could about my daily existence. And I'm summing it up with Kape - Kwento - Kultura -- basically, things which give color and meaning to my life.

I'll explain the first K for this post.

COFFEE = KAPE

KAPE. 'Kape' is the Tagalog word for coffee. I am not really much a fan of coffee. One big reason is that I get palpitations after downing a cup - whether hot, over ice or ice blended. And I can survive a day without caffeine intake. But I've developed this special inkling towards coffee because of its emotional and social relevance.

Ever since I started me-time as a regular habit, I just find it more comfortable to spend it inside a coffee shop. Coffee shops (if you just know where to find a good spot despite the noise around) are good mood-setters for me - the wooden and rustic ambience, the smell of roasted coffee, the natural yellowish lighting, the Bossa Nova or jazz music all add up to that experience. Just give me a good book, a magazine, an iPod, a notebook and I'm good to go with my me-time. Otherwise, I can actually head to the nearest cafe, sit there with nothing to bring, just people-watching while sipping from time to time. You'll be amazed with it, I promise.

More importantly, a big part on how I foster relationships with people is through coffee. My way of strengthening social bonds is through coffee dates. Before, coffee shops are meant for business meetings and formal whatnots. But now, the coffee experience has taken on a huge social revolution. Well, aside from stories shared during drinking sessions, a big bundle of memories now among young people are made over coffee. I got to know my boyfriend more because of our frequent coffee dates on our 1st year (until now actually). I talk, cry or laugh my heart out with friends over ice blended frappuccinos. Or if ever we run out of stories, we can people-watch as a group and come up with interesting thought bubbles for each person we fix our eyes on. I couldn't answer when this whole social side of coffee started, but I am just grateful that being part of this keeps my sanity in check.

So friends, sit back and enjoy as you read on how my life will unfold :)

Love,
KKK Girl

Photo Credits:
http://creattica.com/logos/coffee-cup/19933